How obvious is it, that my 'tech support' area is a joke? On a '1-to-10', I'd say it's a 14. It's HUMOR of the baldest variety. It should be apparent to a 4-year-old. I mean, I'm taking a knife to a subwoofer, setting a cellular phone on fire, etc. AND STILL, people email me with questions about their equipment. You are about to read the dire requests of some of the least observant people our planet has to offer. Read on...

Hi there .. I saw your web page and I want to tell you that I also have a IBM monitor . My big problem is I am trying to fix it because I want to connect it on my old computer which is a P166+ . I want to ask you If you have any electronic diagram of the circuit. It is a big trouble. VASILIS KONTOGEORGIOU

So I wrote Vasilis back, that the page is all a joke, I never fixed the monitor, etc. Next week, he writes back-

Do you actual sell this monitor ? VASILIS KONTOGEORGIOU

I sent back a .jpeg of the monitor in a dumpster. no text. next week, here he comes again-

I gonna put this straight.. I am only interesting for is the cathode tube of the monitor. Wich is a Panasonic 59x6614 . That's what I am interesting for. The damage final is the tube. It have a small crack. VASILIS KONTOGEORGIOU

OK, Vasilis had an excuse (poor English skills). Not so the rest of these morons.

hi I have digital VRC20-HA monitor. I am not able to see full screen display. ie. no display below the damper wire. If i use the hight adjustment control to adjust to full hight, then the image folds inside and upwards. Any suggestions ? Kathiravan Sengodan

Yes, I have a suggestion. Read the page BEFORE you send the author a stupid question.

hi, we've got a couple sun trinitron monitors (with all sony components inside)....they are out of comission. I work with the computer hardware department at the university-wisconsin madison -we cannot fix the problem (it's something to do with the horizontal sync) -our local madison repair places cannot fix the problems...so the next step would be the manuafaturers, i guess -we did find something interesting while trying to diagnose the problem...there seems to be a serial port on the board inside the monitor...it has four pins (grnd, Rx, Tx, and StnBy +5V)....we attempted to make a generic serial adaptor and talk to the monitor via a serial interface program on our computer to no avail -guess my question is...do these newer, "smarter" monitors have a serial interface on them, and if they do, where would a good resource be to find more information on this topic? from = nathan monson

What's WRONG with these people? The last pic in the series shows me pointing a .45 at the monitor, and they're asking me for real advice?

I have a Qualcom Model TPAAB0004, PRIMECO phone. The speker element has stopped working, I suspect a broken lead. But I can't get it open because they use a special five point star screw fastener. Out of warranty - and out of production. Any ideas as to how to get this thing oppend to do some trouble shooting? Bob Mitchell

Ideas... hmmm... how about learning to read? I think that will serve you well in the future.

Having difficulty in locating a replacement antenna for a Nokia cell phone, model 5160, type NSW-1NX. No one here in Jacksonville, Fl seems to know anything other than sell me a new phone. Any ideas? P. A. Turner

I have an idea for you. It involves breaking the new antenna off in your ass.

Okay, first of all I will come clean right up front and let you know that,YES, I am a blonde. Okay, with that out of the way, here's the problem. I dropped my Motorola Star-Tac Cell phone into a very hot bubbling jazuzzi. I watched it fall in...sorta' like on TV in slow motion. I fished it out right away, and took off both batteries. The strange thing is that the phone was vibrating....? Even with both batteries off. Was it frying inside? It has settled down now. So, besides the obvious of buying a new one. Is there anyway I can save it.Help..... LORRAINE

Lorraine is just too easy a target. At the very least she may not know her phone from her vibrator. If I were ten years younger, I would ask her out.

Dear Doc: I have an Ericsson flip-phone that I dropped on my driveway the other day. I can turn it on but i can't dail out and nothing shows up on the liquid crystal display. What do you recommend? b_niesen@hotmail.com

I recommend using your phone as a suppository.

America's next big dumbass asks: I have 2 KFC 17" monitors with the following problems:- 1- HOT was shorted, after replaced the monitor worked good, but the vertical image is too expanded and can't be adjusted by control buttons. 2- The diode near to the Flyback was shorted, after replaced, the monitor work but the image is wavy vertically. Please if you have any advice. Thank you

Please WHAT if I have any advice? Please guess what you're talking about?

Check back for more public humiliation, as people continue to 'just not get it'.

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